Finally she looked at me today….
Straight into my eyes…it was just for a second or two but still…
Finally the bright idea of deliberately prattling out the lamest of answers paid off….
This was what I had been waiting for….
This was what I had been wanting for so long…..nearly a year…..
Tracey….Elizabeth Tracey…noticed me today…
I’ve been helplessly head over heels in love with her for just as long as our course had commenced.
Ever since the first day I’ve always wanted to see her…
that strand of rich brown hair that kissed her cheeks, that delicious smile that decorated her lips, her beautiful inquisitive eyes, her perfect nose….her quick paralyzing gaze which was more than enough to give me the shivers…her smile that gave me a reason to get out of bed everyday and put me at ease late in the night…
Her gorgeous smile was my daily diet….
She fueled me on…the very thought of her made me feel life was not as bad as it seemed.
She was popular at college.
She was very amiable and always flashed a quick hypnotic smile at people.
She never smiled at me.
Many a times she went past me without sharing as much as a stare, as if I was a diaphanous screen.
She stuck to her gang of friends comprising of a nerdish looking guy named Sid, an equally nerdish looking Jessica, fondly known as Jez and an annoyingly handsome guy named Ted.
They were with her throughout.
During the lectures, during lunch, in the evenings…
Especially Ted.
That irritated me.
I had this feeling that she fancied him in that gang as he was rich, stylish and the best looking guy in college, an automatic enticement for many other girls.
Both were quite bright when it came to academics. But I always managed to score slightly more than Ted.
Of course it went unnoticed.
I was competing alone from the start.
Rumors had it that they were dating and that Ted’s parents were delighted with her.
I wasn’t surprised.
Who couldn’t like her? She was so likeable. So pleasant. So beautiful.
But the difference was……..
Everybody liked her but…… I loved her.
She was everything I wanted….she was everything I dreamed of…
In my 23 years of placid existence on earth I’ve never been so excited….so interested in anything….for so long I was just all Jake about my life but now here she was….
Here she was….so beautiful….sitting right in front of me, fiddling around with her pen, probably bored with the lecture….
The lecture dragged on for a while….
While the others grumbled about the irrelevant nature of the conversation that lecturer had struck up with Sid, I reveled in the thought of her having cast a glance at me.
I took a meagre satisfaction than outright rejection.
Oh! that look. That half amused, half bored look.
I’ve seen that look many time. So many times that I could actually predict the movement of her facial muscles.
I was lost in her thought….
Then it happened….
A sudden pain shot through the back of my neck. I howled and toppled off the chair and landed on the floor, still in pain.
Some in the crowd laughed hysterically while others sympathized.
Surprised and equally offended by the commotion the Professor rushed over to by my side.
“What in heaven’s name is happening here?”
A bit dazed but embarrassed I replied “ I..i..don’t know sir…something hit me on the back of my neck”
I noticed a thick black book lying by the side of my chair.
“Looks like someone threw a book at you my dear….now who could that be?”
His gaze shifted in a habitual manner towards the guy in the last bench.
“Mr.Andrew I really do hope that you have a faint idea as to who this book belongs to?”
Andrew, the bully of our class, was always up to some bilious activity or the other.
He was known for his short fuse and raging temper.
I was one of his favourite targets.
A rythemic movement of his mouth suggested that he was chewing gum, which quite assumably, strangely though, the professor chose to ignore.
“Well…how am I supposed to know?…you might wanna check with the library….”
Some guffaws followed.
A smirk fleeted across his face when the words rolled out of his mouth.
“Oh is it? So you are familiar with the word library…that begs me to assume that you might use the facility atleast up to the minimum of your severely malnourished intellectual capabilities to avoid sneaking into my cabin after college requesting for a pass grade like you did last year.”
The class burst into laughter at this. I did too. Much to the embarrassment and annoyance of the 6.4 foot giant.
He was verbally challenged but his ripping muscles and aggressive body language were his ally in creating turmoil at the college.
He grunted and hesitatingly exited the class, still being followed by boos and cuckoo calls from the crowd.
“Loser!”
“Pipsqueak”
“Going to call your mama are you little boy?”
“Fuck you!” he screamed on his way out. He sounded quite pissed.
“Ladies and gentlemen….If all of you are done with throwing books around can we please get back to page number 250 and….”
He went on with his lecture.
I rubbed the back of my neck profusely. I was still a bit dazed.
“Hey…Are you alright?”
The voice was familiar.
It was her!
“So-sorry?”
“I asked if you were alright? That must have been quite a nasty blow.”
“Well…-er-…yeah…-er-…am good…fine…-er-..”
”Good....Andy is such a jerk....anyways take care...“
At that she turned around and immersed herself into her book leaving behind a pleasantly surprised soul.
She spoke to me.
She asked me to take care. She showed concern.
That was so sweet of her.
This was the first time she had spoken to me.
Thoughts raced around in my mind.
At last I had the chance of being the subject of her conversation. A dream that ruled many nights, finally came true.
There was a loud bang.
The glass of our classroom exploded, sprinkling fine glass all over the classroom floor.
The professor fell to the floor lifelessly.
People screamed.
The door of our class room burst open and Andrew barged into the classroom with an object in his hand.
It was a shotgun.
People screamed again.
He fired a round in the air.
“Everybody shut up” he screamed
He drooled saliva as he screamed.
His eyes menacingly darted from one person to the other.
The gun was firmly held by his strong right arm and with his left hand he grabbed Sid from the first row and flung him towards one corner of the room where he crashed and lay motionless atleast for a good ten minutes.
The professor’s body lay motionless on the floor right beside the teacher’s table.
A pool of blood outlined him as seconds passed by.
Silence prevailed.
A couple of gals were already crying but they clasped their hands around their mouths trying to gag their sobs.
Tracey wasn’t crying, surprisingly. She was obviously horrified at the gruesome scene that was unveiling before her, the strained pale look on her face said it all.
Ted was aghast, he was shivering. Even from a distance I could notice his hands trembling.
I was frozen to my desk. The scene was still sinking into me. I was finding it hard to believe that all this was happening here…in a classroom….
I was just wishing someone woke me up and I could just realize it was a dream.
But that was not so….this was happening….
“So who wants to be Daddy’s next?”
“How about you?” he was gesturing at the gal next to me.
“No!! No..please don’t Andrew…I want to live” her words were half swallowed by her sniffs and sobs and what she said sounded more like an animal in distress.
A deafening noise reverberated through the room.
The girl slumped to the ground. Dead.
He caught her in the forehead.
“Call me a loser will you? Ha ha ha ha…Now who’s the loser huh? WHO’s the F****N LOSER HUH???”
With every word the tone turned more menacing. He was psychotic.
Next he fixed his gaze upon Ted.
“Hey there pretty boy….want some?”
His eyes had a strange twinkle when he said that.
“Plleaaasee for God’s sake let me go…Please don’t do this to me….”
“Well then if it’s not you then I’ll have to take out your girlfriend…shall i? Aaah….Tracey….”
Tracey took a step back. She was horrified. She was staring at her death.
“Please n-not me…anyone but me…” squealed Ted.
Tracey looked at Ted, shocked, then turned towards Andrew.
“So lover boy has ditched you my darling….so where do you want this shot?...Say how about one in the chest?”
He raised the gun and it was clearly aimed at her chest.
Tracey closed her eyes, expecting death any second.
Ted watched on. “bloody F****N coward….” I screamed in my mind.
A wicked smile swept across Andrew’s face. The smile of a psychotic maniac.
Andrew’s fingers quickly moved into position in the trigger socket and was slowly but steadily applying pressure on the trigger.
Tracey waited for the end.
“STOP”
“Let me take it instead…let her go”
These words escaped my mouth.
Everyone gasped.
Andrew shifted his eyes towards me questioningly.
Tracey turned around startled.
I looked into her questioning eyes.
Those pretty beady eyes seemed to ask “Why?”
Andrew interrupted “Oh so now we have a new entrant in this game…I like it…it’s getting better by the second…now people want to die…”
I stepped forward.
“Look here…let her go…I’ll take that bullet instead…”
“Well well…why so for Tracey my foolish friend?”
“Because…………………I love her…”
Andrew guffawed.
Tracey shot a look at me, half surprised, half shocked.
“When in love people give life, not take…” I said.
I shot a quick glance at Ted. I could swear I saw a fleeting moment of guilt on his face. Rightly so.
“But…but…” Tracey couldn’t manage more words.
She broke down.
Each tear that ran down her cheek irritated the sides of my face like acid.
“Please don’t cry….this is the least I could do for you…please”
“Now lets STOP this melodrama!...it’s time to die my dear friend…”
“You chose this girls life over your’s so now pay the price…”
The gun swung in my direction….
The vile smile resurfaced…
Then came the shot…
then came the pain….
The pain spread….
My feet gave away and collapsed.
Breathing was starting to hurt.
Thick warm liquid filled up my mouth and I had to spit it out to realize what it was.
I felt the darkness enveloping me.
I moaned.
My mind raced through my thoughts.
Somehow I couldn’t find regret in the fact that I was dying.
I was giving up my life for the one I loved. Just knowing the fact that I died instead of her eased the pain.
Another sudden bolt of pain shot through my body.
I knew the end was nearing.
I searched for her. That was my last wish. I wanted her image to be burnt in my memory the moment before I died.
I managed to catch one last glimpse of a crying Tracey…
She was looking at me…those beady eyes full of tears…and was that love I saw in her eyes?
Love for me?
Maybe it was…maybe it’s too late…
Then with her image in mind I closed my eyes….one more bolt of pain ran through my body and I lay still…
I somehow didn’t feel dead. Was I sleeping?
I opened my eyes.
The bright light around hurt my eyes at first and then steadily the murky images cleared out.
I was in a hospital ward.
I tried to sit up and a sudden bolt of pain shot through my shoulders and chest.
Then I realized that it was heavily strapped and that I couldn’t move my right hand much.
Bearing with the pain I stretched my neck to look around for other signs of life.
There she was.
By my bed side. Sleeping.
Was I dreaming?
Was that Tracey?
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
I looked at her, still trying to convince my mind that it was actually her.
“T-T-Tracey?!”
I muttered.
She immediately lifted her head.
Yes it was her. Great heavens it was her!
Her eyes were swollen from incessant crying. Her hair was untidy.
She looked nothing life the Tracey I knew but..it was her…she was beside my bed looking at me…
“OH! Thank god you’re back. I thought I had lost you”
She clutched my cheeks and kissed me
Suddenly the pain seemed to fade away.
I was lost.
Lost in that moment of glory
Lost in that moment of love.
Her kiss seemed to heal every wound of mine.
My quest for love had reached it’s destination.
She pulled herself away from me and started crying.
Tears of joy.
“W-wat h-happened?”
“After Andrew shot you his gun got jammed and he couldn’t reload for another shot…that’s when the others mobbed him and took him down.”
“We rushed you to the hospital but you had lost a lot of blood by then…he had aimed your chest but had clipped the part between your shoulder and the chest”
“Fortunately we found your blood group among us and made amends for the blood loss…”
“you’ve been unconscious for nearly 4 days now and these four days were the most torturous days of my life…”
“Now you’re back my love…I won’t let you go anywhere”
“Y-you l-love me?!?”
“Yes I do…”
“In that last four days I realized how much must you have loved me to have actually decided to face death itself…I realized how wrong I was in trusting Ted to take care of me and in turn realized your value…if you’re ready to give up your life for me, it’s my duty too to surrender my life to you…im your’s forever my love…I love you”
These words were the words I had been waiting for for my whole life and I had thought i would never get to hear it…that too from the girl I loved!
If this wasn’t heaven..what was?
After all melancholic events in my life finally I was getting what I truly deserved. I was getting love. Long lasting love. True love.
She rested her head on my left arm and looked deep into my eyes.
Her eyes were full of love. Love for me. Those beady eyes….
I stroked a strand of her hair and asked her “So who was the good soul who gave me blood and saved my life?”
She smiled tiredly.
She pulled up her sleeve and showed a puncture mark on her hand.
“I did….we had the same blood group….like you said when in love people give life, not take”
She winked
I smiled.
